Never One to Falter
by alexismoonshine
Summary: Just some Wolfstar fluff that I found in the cavernous depths of my writing folder. Basically just... sexual frustration and awkward teenage romance... minor sexual references. I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters involved. If I did I would be very rich.


Remus John Lupin was never one to falter when it came to writing things. He had a controlled, eloquent page voice that never seemed to falter. His essays were always neat, well thought out and devoid of the unintelligible labyrinth of scribbles, crosses and ink blotches donned by the likes of James, Peter and Sirius. The crumpled mess of stained, scribbled on parchment that occupied his desk space was suspiciously un-Remus. He'd crossed out, screwed up, ripped up and set fire to too many attempts at writing 'the letter' and it was beginning to get on his nerves.

Remus John Lupin was never one for getting worked up, his calm, intelligent and purely casual disposition was almost the complete opposite to the nature of his… one could call Moony an alter ego I suppose but Remus didn't like the term, concluding that it made it sound as if he didn't passionately loathe the thing he became at the call of the moon, but he certainly managed a fiery temper staring down at yet another nearly blank page labeled with a small black

'Dear Sirius.'

"You still working on that potions essay, Moons?" Sirius Black, teen heart throb, Marauder, mischief maker was leaning in the dormitory doorway, wearing, as predicted, nothing but a towel and a smile that had won over more girls than Remus could count. Remus swallowed hard, trying not to stare as the raven-haired animagus ran his fingers through his locks, sending a flurry of water droplets cascading seductively down his bare chest.

"Um… just finishing off… well rounded conclusion and all that." Remus' normal voice was, regrettably, never quite as eloquent as his page voice, especially not around Sirius. He tended to mumble a lot around the guy, trip over his tongue, say stupid things. He envied Sirius's unrelenting ability to be smooth and blasé about everything, Sirius Black was never awkward, ever, but then again... Sirius Black wasn't desperately in love with his best friend, his MALE best friend.

"Cool, can I have a look?" Sirius asked with a nonchalant air. "I haven't even started mine."

"NO!" Remus hurled himself in front of the desk, "I mean… it's… do your own homework Sirius." The werewolf's face was scarlet. Sirius stared at him in wonder, before composing his aristocratic features into a disbelieving smile.

"Calm your farm Moonboy. I could copy my notes from Evans if you'd rather."

"I… sorry, I didn't mean to shout, you know I like our study sessions… I'll help you with your essay tonight okay…"

"Oh."

"What?"

"I was just going to ask you if you wanted to come out to the Hog's Head tonight… Pete and Prongs have detention." Sirius wasn't looking at him when he spoke, and for a second Remus wondered if he was talking to him at all. Was Sirius Black _blushing_? Of course he wasn't. Sirius never blushed.

"I don't see a bouquet of roses Padfoot…" Remus twisted his mouth into a poor excuse for a smirk.

Sirius Orion Black was never lost for words, not ever. He could charm his way out of just about anything, hence his name being excluded from the detention list that night. Just one flutter of those lacey eyelashes, a wink or two in the right direction and he was well on his way to success in just about any social situation, so when Sirius Black found himself staring at his feet, blushing like a schoolgirl and wearing nothing but a towel, he knew he was out of his depth. He hoped his natural paleness was on his side today, and that he didn't look like a boiled beet, and stole a glance in Remus' direction. It wasn't a date, it didn't sound like a date, he hoped. He and Remus had gone out together before now, only that was back before… well… back when he was still a confident lothario, back when he and Remus both had girls hanging off their arms… things were… different now.

Remus was smiling awkwardly, at least… it might have been a smile, but it was painful. Sirius panicked. Had he taken in the wrong way, or consequently the right way? Did he think Sirius was a pervert, or a creep? Maybe he'd just say no, or never speak to him again. No, Remus wouldn't do that. He'd never hurt anybody intentionally. He was sweet, and kind and… perfect. He was always in control, always calm and reserved and polite, apart from on occasions where the wolf got the better of him. He never got into violent fits of rage, or passion like Sirius did, he never seemed to be in a state about anything. He went through life facing every prejudice with courage, every insult with such level headed maturity that it was hard to tell if things really bothered him at all, though Sirius knew they did. Remus was so clam and collected that from an outsider's point of view it probably seemed as if he had no issues at all, but then again… Remus Lupin wasn't in desperately love with his best friend, his MALE best friend.

"I don't see a bouquet of roses Padfoot." Remus smirked, again with a sense of unease. Sirius' heart stopped. _Is he mocking me?_ He was ninety nine percent sure the werewolf was having him on, but to what extent, should he play along? Sirius' chest ached. He'd promised James that he wouldn't back out this time, that he'd ask Remus on a date and see what became of it. It sounded easy, it wasn't.

"I wouldn't have taken you for a roses kind of a guy Moons." Sirius replied, trying to smile and feeling awfully exposed in his towel, not something he was used to worrying about.

"Chocolate is always preferable darling," Remus gave him an over exaggerated wink.

"So that's a yes? I promise I'll bring chocolates."

"That's a yes. And I will hit you if you forget."

The pair stood there, shuffling their feet awkwardly. Sirius ran his fingers through his hair again, hoping that his friend hadn't noticed the not-too-small bulge that was tenting his bath towel.

"I should get dressed,"

"Don't." It was barely a whisper, but Sirius heard it. Remus Lupin was staring at him, face scarlet, eyes wide. "I mean… I'm… I should go, I have to… uh… library."

_Remus Lupin you are such a moron, all you had to do shut up, now you've ruined everything._ Remus' heart was pounding, he had to leave, he had to get out of the room before he died of embarrassment, or fainted form sexual tension. He hardly heard Sirius' attempts to talk to him, hardly felt the hand grab his arm. He wanted to curl up and die. He'd ruined everything. Sirius would never take him seriously, no pun intended, again. It had seemed such a mundane request at the time, why cover that beautiful, perfect, dripping torso with something as pointless as clothes, but Sirius was his friend, friends weren't supposed to enjoy the sight of their friends half naked, friends weren't supposed to feel weak with desire when their friends wandered around in bath towels… friends weren't supposed to fall in love with their friends… there was a barrier, and Remus had crossed it.

Sirius grabbed him, for a moment he was confident he would slap him, and held both of his arms in a lock so tight he wouldn't leave had he wanted to, he didn't.

"Moony look at me." Sirius' face was stony, expressionless and cold.

"I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"I can't say."

"Remus…"

"I'm sorry for everything Siri, I wouldn't blame you if you never spoke to me again."

"What have you done? I don't understand."

"Well you wouldn't understand, and I never expected you to."

"Well fine. Go to hell."

"Fuck you."

"Not if you keep treating me like that."

"What?"

"I love you Moony." Sirius couldn't stop himself, it would probably be the end of everything, but he couldn't stop now. It just sort of… popped out, and although he regretted it instantly, he felt a little better.

"W-what?"

"I'm in love with you."

"I…"

"I know you probably think I'm a creep, but I just had to get this off my chest."

"Siri… I never…"

"So now you know my big secret. I'm sorry"

"Don't be."

"I am… I don't know… I just… it's been eating away at me for so long and James has been biting my but to get me to say something and I guess I just thought…"

"You thought what?"

"It sounds so… conceited but I guess I thought you might have… felt 'the same way'"

"Siri…"

"I know, it's so stupid. You're so nice and normal and I don't even know wh…"

"Sirius just shut up for a second."

"Sorry."

"How on earth are you going to find anything out if don't even let me speak."

"I'm panicky! Look, my hands are shaking."

"Will you just shut up and kiss me you fool."

Lips met lips, and hands met hands, fingers curling, grabbing, pulling. Remus' head hit the mattress, and Sirius' mouth collided with his, their lips pulsated, pulling and nibbling and pulsing. Remus had never been kissed like this before, he'd had a few good snogs, he wasn't even a virgin, but this was something else. Sirius' mouth seems to fit perfectly against his, as if they were two parts of the same whole. The animagus' tongue licked along Remus' upper lip, making him let out just the shadow of a moan. He parted his lips, his whole body jerking as Sirius thrust his tongue in the warm wet cavern of Remus' mouth. He wrapped his arms around the raven haired boy, pulling him closer, their tongues moving, twisting, pulsating. Sirius tasted like coffee and chocolate and rain, and something Remus couldn't put a finger on. He tangled his fingers in the long black hair that fell over the other boy's face. Their bodies were pressed together like puzzle pieces, and Remus whimpered as Sirius' turgid length pressed against his through the towel and the thin cotton of Remus' school pants. Sirius' eyes were clouded with lust as he drew back. Remus stared up at him, if this was real, he had some serious things to think about, well… some Sirius things to think about… if it was a dream, it was a very good dream.

"I love you too Sirius."

"Enough to follow through with that proposed date?"

"That was a date?"

"Well yeah. I promise I'll bring chocolate."

"I'm not bothered. You taste better anyway."

"Hmm… you know what?"

"Mmm?"

"It's pretty cold out there, and the Hog's Head isn't that nice."

"Insinuating?"

"Well… I personally find you a lot more intoxicating than firewhisky, and we could always just make the most of Pete and James not being here…"

"But I'm not that kinda girl!" Remus laughed, wielding a bad American accent. Sirius, who had never seen Temple Of doom, didn't get the reference, but smiled anyway.

"I just want to kiss you Moons, is that so incriminating?"

"Sounds good to me."


End file.
